One of my biggest qualms is that people might have bought into what the badmouther said and used those words to form their impressions of me, thereby making it impossible for me to ever form a true relationship with any of them. And here’s an article on when it’s time to end a friendship: Why I Parted Ways With My Best Friend of 10 Years 5) …Let go I wrote more about handling betrayals by friends here: What To Do When You Have Been Betrayed by a Friend. If the friendship isn’t of much weight to you and the offending act is not something you can overlook, then perhaps cutting the person away is the best course of action. If it’s a highly important friendship and the offending act is something you can overlook, then air the grievance to that friend, trash things out, listen from his/her side of the story, and give the friendship another go. If you have been backstabbed by a “friend,” evaluate (a) how important this friendship is to you and (b) whether the offending act is forgivable. The friendship was clearly not what I thought it was, and I had wasted too much time trying to make it work.
#Backstab move synonym series
It wasn’t just this one incident, but the series of incidents that led up to this (a lot of negativity, angry outbursts), that made me realize that it was time to move on. So when it came to this situation, especially the gravity of it (outright attacking my character in front of a business acquaintance), I decided that it was time to cut off the friendship. For the past few months, I had dealt with a variety of misunderstandings and issues with him.
If not, cut this person awayįor this friend, this wasn’t the first time such an issue occurred. Has there been any “damage” done? Yes? No? If yes, what is this damage? Is it damage to your reputation? Damage in terms of potential business deals? Damage in terms of friendships? For the damage caused, what can you do to reverse it? Address the damage as best as you can within your locus of control, and then… 4) Clarify with the person if you can. If you have been backstabbed, take a step back and evaluate your situation. While it was still up to the person to make his/her conclusion, at least I have said my piece about this situation rather than leave things hanging. I shared my side of the story to whoever they were aired to. Then, I did damage control by rectifying the statements made. It was clear beyond doubt that this was real, and the next step was how to deal with it. I then asked for the third party’s permission to see the messages, and saw for myself the whole conversation thread, along with the backstabbing comments. Hence, you want to fact check the story first before jumping to conclusions.įor me, when a third party told me that my “friend” said certain bad things about me, I then asked for explicit information, like what exactly he said, the context he said it, and why he said it. Worse still, some people may make up stories to sow discord between you and your friend. Sometimes rumors can balloon out of control as people add their own interpretations to events. Once you feel calm enough, proceed to the next step. Take a few minutes, even a few hours, to digest this information first.
An irate person will only commit irate actions, and sometimes you may say things that you regret later. No matter how pissed off you are, gather yourself first. How to Deal with Backstabbers 1) Stay calm Here are 8 tips to deal with backstabbers. If you’re dealing with a backstabber at the moment, I feel you. However, after feeling angry about it for a short while and realizing that this was simply ridiculous and a waste of my time, I began to turn this around and move on. What kind of “friend” speaks of friends like this behind their backs? How about values of loyalty, trust, and respect? Have they been thrown out of the window? When I heard it, I was furious of course. It wasn’t your innocuous, everyday gossip - it consisted of vindictive statements that cast doubt on my character. Recently I learned that a good “friend” backstabbed me by badmouthing me in a malicious way.
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